My professional highlight of 2023 was spending five weeks in The Gambia travelling along the Atlantic coast interviewing women aged over 60 about their lives. This fieldwork was part of my research for my National Geographic Society-supported project, A Women’s Oral History of West Africa.

Of the 27 elders I had the privilege to commune with, Madame Jobe’s story struck me the most. My excellent fixer and translator, Awa Senghore and I went to meet her one morning at her stall in the sprawling Serekunda Market and she greeted me with a warmth that was instinctive and kind. 

Though she looked strong in body and youthful in face, she told us her eyesight was failing due to years of long days and nights smoking fish over a coal pot, which she sells on her stall with the assistance of her eldest daughter, who was a constant presence. She moved around the kiosk sweeping the floor with a palm frond broom as her baby lay asleep on a mat.

During our hour-long conversation, Madame Jobe spoke of her regret that she didn’t send this daughter, now in her early 30s, to school. As the firstborn girl, it was customary to be kept at home to help your mother with the duties and chores involved in maintaining the family while your siblings, in this case, an older brother and a younger sister, go to school. 

It was clear that Madame Jobe wrestled with this part of her story, occasionally fighting back tears. Her daughter was an ever-present reminder of the choices she had made, and their consequences, and her daughter’s resentment was palpable. When I asked Madame Jobe, as I ask all the elders, if there was anything she wished she could change about her life, she replied, without hesitation, “I would send this daughter to school.”

Regrets are only useful if they teach us something. There was nothing Madame Jobe could do now about a decision she had made then, but she could ensure that her granddaughters would have the opportunity that their mother was denied, breaking a generational and cultural cycle. And she had.

Regrets are only useful if they teach us something. In recognising that, Madame Jobe found a pathway through the pain, and smiled.

Image: Madame Jobe (left), with Awa Senghore (middle) and Sylvia Arthur (right) in Serekunda Market, The Gambia. By Sarjo Baldeh.